Thursday, April 9, 2015

150th Appomattox Anniversary- in 140 Characters or Less

BobLee: aight whos here?
Longstrt: me boss
JayBIG: me!
NotLate: YankEZ got me boss. Sry.
Salliesboy1863: yo
BobLee: @WALL-TR Salliesboy1863 still w/army?
WALL-TR: Umm
BobLee: U no send memo fire him?
WALL-TR: mebbe?
BobLee: Wat mebbe? Did or dint?
WALL-TR: not sure, wuz dark and early
NotLate: I do wut now? Still w/YankEZ
Salliesboy1863: I here rdy fight
BobLee: U no hav division
Salliesboy1863: whose fault that!? #Gettysburg #stupidcharge
BobLee: wut about 5 frocks?
Salliesboy1863: ??
BobLee: 5 FAQs
BobLee: H8 this fone. FIVE F.O.R.K.S.
Salliesboy1863: Ask Rooney
NotLate: DOH!
Longstrt: Why u hav fone?
NotLate: Told YankEZ hav unlimited call plan. No can take.
Longstrt: Not wut unlimited mean
NotLate: *shrug* YankEZ not kno dat
BobLee: *sigh* focus guys. Ned plan fight YankEZ
BobLee: No food, no ammo. Lots of YankEZ
JayBIG: I hav gr8 idea!
Longstrt: who dis?
JayBIG: Gordon
Longstrt: why jaybig?
JayBIG: J B Gordon
Longstrt: whatev. Hope idea better than last one
JayBIG: wat dat mean?!
WALL-TR: UR last idea not too gr8
WALL-TR: lost p-burg
NotLate: Gr8 directions @sailorcreek #wrongturn #POW
JayBIG: not my fault!
BobLee: So- no plan?
JayBIG: @Longstrt and @salliesboy1863 atk YankEZ behind- I atk in front
BobLee: (shaking head)
WALL-TR: (rolls eyes)
JayBIG: Wat?
Longstrt: if u atk front and we atk rear, dat whole army atk
JayBIG: and?
Longstrt: wat point? Atk to hlep army break out
Longstrt: UR plan use whole army. No breakout
JayBIG: Oh
JayBIG: I hav othr plan
JayBIG: @Longstrt atk rear, I atk rear, @salliesboy1863 breakout
WALL-TR: salliesboy1863 no hav trooops
JayBIG: Ok. New plan-
BobLee: New plan bettr not hav words ‘atk’, ‘rear’, ‘longstrt’, ‘salliesboy1863’
JayBIG: need min
BobLee: P33t u stil got grant’s address?
Longstrt: SamIAm if no chng
BobLee: @SamIAm hey grant
SamIAm: how u get address?
BobLee: P33t
SamIAm: oh. Wat u wnat?
BobLee: umm…you busy?
SamIAm: o_O
SamIAm: kinda in middle of sumthin
BobLee: wonderin if u want hav chat
SamIAm: U want surrender?
BobLee: mebbe…not sure
SamIAm: call back wen sure. I got mor armies than hobbit movie
BobLee: sry no see it
SamIAm: good 4 netflix. g2g call if u want give up
BobLee: @Longstrt, @WALL-TR, @JayBIG any ideas?
BobLee: k gon hav 2 see grant but wud prfr die x100 no respawn
JayBIG: @WALL-TR u wnat shoot him or want me2?
BobLee: WTF?
BobLee: u wnat me smak u?
JayBIG: w8 u sed u want sum1 shoot u
BobLee: ??
JayBIG: well u sed u want die
BobLee: dude dat metafor
JayBIG: wat meta for?
Salliesboy1863: u put on greek salad
Longstrt: that’s FETA, George
Salliesboy1863: huh?
Longstrt: Feta, that wat go on greek salad
Salliesboy1863: no, dat PETA
WALL-TR: U srsly dat dumb?
Salliesboy1863: go fork yrslf walter
NotLate: shud he use five of them?
JayBIG: :D
Longstrt: PETA wuz hippy grp sued @JEBster 4 horses
Longstrt: Feta is cheese
BobLee: I hav headache
BobLee: P33t, Grant cool dude?
Longstrt: ya hes cool
Longstrt: he hook us up ok
BobLee: @SamIAm ok lets make a deal
SamIam: U quit fight, go home, follow rulz, evything OK
BobLee: Dats it?
SamIAm: Dats it.
BobLee: no trial? No jail? Just got home?
SamIAm: yup. Got stuff to do, no want hang around- gonna be hot soon
JayBIG: ask if I can haz horse
BobLee: umm…dudes in r army own horses. Can take home?
SamIAm: fine, can we just get this done?
Salliesboy1863: I can haz cheezburgr? :D
JayBIG: u not as funny as think u R
SamIAm: r we done?
BobLee: um yeah we sort out details l8r?
SamIAm: fine.
BobLee: Ok ev1 that’s a wrap. U no hav 2 go home but can’t sleep here

Monday, February 16, 2015

Mac Goes To The Movies

In today's episode, Little Mac watches Henry V and Return of the Jedi. What does the intrepid commander of the Union forces think about the leadership on display? His thoughts, below: