Thursday, April 9, 2015

150th Appomattox Anniversary- in 140 Characters or Less

BobLee: aight whos here?
Longstrt: me boss
JayBIG: me!
NotLate: YankEZ got me boss. Sry.
Salliesboy1863: yo
BobLee: @WALL-TR Salliesboy1863 still w/army?
BobLee: U no send memo fire him?
WALL-TR: mebbe?
BobLee: Wat mebbe? Did or dint?
WALL-TR: not sure, wuz dark and early
NotLate: I do wut now? Still w/YankEZ
Salliesboy1863: I here rdy fight
BobLee: U no hav division
Salliesboy1863: whose fault that!? #Gettysburg #stupidcharge
BobLee: wut about 5 frocks?
Salliesboy1863: ??
BobLee: 5 FAQs
BobLee: H8 this fone. FIVE F.O.R.K.S.
Salliesboy1863: Ask Rooney
NotLate: DOH!
Longstrt: Why u hav fone?
NotLate: Told YankEZ hav unlimited call plan. No can take.
Longstrt: Not wut unlimited mean
NotLate: *shrug* YankEZ not kno dat
BobLee: *sigh* focus guys. Ned plan fight YankEZ
BobLee: No food, no ammo. Lots of YankEZ
JayBIG: I hav gr8 idea!
Longstrt: who dis?
JayBIG: Gordon
Longstrt: why jaybig?
JayBIG: J B Gordon
Longstrt: whatev. Hope idea better than last one
JayBIG: wat dat mean?!
WALL-TR: UR last idea not too gr8
WALL-TR: lost p-burg
NotLate: Gr8 directions @sailorcreek #wrongturn #POW
JayBIG: not my fault!
BobLee: So- no plan?
JayBIG: @Longstrt and @salliesboy1863 atk YankEZ behind- I atk in front
BobLee: (shaking head)
WALL-TR: (rolls eyes)
JayBIG: Wat?
Longstrt: if u atk front and we atk rear, dat whole army atk
JayBIG: and?
Longstrt: wat point? Atk to hlep army break out
Longstrt: UR plan use whole army. No breakout
JayBIG: Oh
JayBIG: I hav othr plan
JayBIG: @Longstrt atk rear, I atk rear, @salliesboy1863 breakout
WALL-TR: salliesboy1863 no hav trooops
JayBIG: Ok. New plan-
BobLee: New plan bettr not hav words ‘atk’, ‘rear’, ‘longstrt’, ‘salliesboy1863’
JayBIG: need min
BobLee: P33t u stil got grant’s address?
Longstrt: SamIAm if no chng
BobLee: @SamIAm hey grant
SamIAm: how u get address?
BobLee: P33t
SamIAm: oh. Wat u wnat?
BobLee: umm…you busy?
SamIAm: o_O
SamIAm: kinda in middle of sumthin
BobLee: wonderin if u want hav chat
SamIAm: U want surrender?
BobLee: mebbe…not sure
SamIAm: call back wen sure. I got mor armies than hobbit movie
BobLee: sry no see it
SamIAm: good 4 netflix. g2g call if u want give up
BobLee: @Longstrt, @WALL-TR, @JayBIG any ideas?
BobLee: k gon hav 2 see grant but wud prfr die x100 no respawn
JayBIG: @WALL-TR u wnat shoot him or want me2?
BobLee: WTF?
BobLee: u wnat me smak u?
JayBIG: w8 u sed u want sum1 shoot u
BobLee: ??
JayBIG: well u sed u want die
BobLee: dude dat metafor
JayBIG: wat meta for?
Salliesboy1863: u put on greek salad
Longstrt: that’s FETA, George
Salliesboy1863: huh?
Longstrt: Feta, that wat go on greek salad
Salliesboy1863: no, dat PETA
WALL-TR: U srsly dat dumb?
Salliesboy1863: go fork yrslf walter
NotLate: shud he use five of them?
JayBIG: :D
Longstrt: PETA wuz hippy grp sued @JEBster 4 horses
Longstrt: Feta is cheese
BobLee: I hav headache
BobLee: P33t, Grant cool dude?
Longstrt: ya hes cool
Longstrt: he hook us up ok
BobLee: @SamIAm ok lets make a deal
SamIam: U quit fight, go home, follow rulz, evything OK
BobLee: Dats it?
SamIAm: Dats it.
BobLee: no trial? No jail? Just got home?
SamIAm: yup. Got stuff to do, no want hang around- gonna be hot soon
JayBIG: ask if I can haz horse
BobLee: umm…dudes in r army own horses. Can take home?
SamIAm: fine, can we just get this done?
Salliesboy1863: I can haz cheezburgr? :D
JayBIG: u not as funny as think u R
SamIAm: r we done?
BobLee: um yeah we sort out details l8r?
SamIAm: fine.
BobLee: Ok ev1 that’s a wrap. U no hav 2 go home but can’t sleep here

Monday, February 16, 2015

Mac Goes To The Movies

In today's episode, Little Mac watches Henry V and Return of the Jedi. What does the intrepid commander of the Union forces think about the leadership on display? His thoughts, below:

Sunday, September 14, 2014

Joseph Johnston Decision Generator

Life is hard. It's even harder when you try to get through it without the wisdom of Joe Johnston. But now, you don't have to. Introducing, the Joseph Johnston Decision Generator...simply ask a question, and receive Joe's guidance. Any subject you want, just think of your question, press the button below, and watch your life change.

Thursday, July 24, 2014

Jeff Davis vs. Siri

Once again, Jeff tries his hand at modern technology- only this time, his Mississippi accent trips him up...