Wednesday, July 17, 2013

The Battle of Gettysburg- in text messages! It helps if you know the story- go rent Gettysburg with Martin Sheen and Tom Berenger, you'll be able to follow along. Mostly.

HarryHeth: goin 2 gburg 4 shoes k
HarryHeth: takin boyz w/me
APHill: k boss sez no fighting.
HarryHeth: boyz say just militia we push em out
APHill: no fighting
HarryHeth: just militia we can handle
HarryHeth: militia seem to not run we push harder
HarryHeth: nono is ok just need big push
HarryHeth: WTF this is cavalry?
HarryHeth: Is ok we R winning
APHill: What going on?
APHill: ??
HarryHeth: uh- why cavalry have black hat?
APHill: ???
APHill: Black hat=Reynolds 1 crps.
APHill: WTF U get hit in head? 
APHill: Hello?
HarryHeth: I liek ponies
HarryHeth: newhat big paper bullet big hat paper ow
BobLee: AP I hear a lot of noise'
BobLee: U know no fighting
APHill: um @Heth maybe start fight
APHill: not sure. Heth not making sense.
APHill: I send someone find out k bye.
BobLee: Send Heth here. No fight!
PenDrrr: @BobLee boss big fight I join k
BobLee: no fight. Everybody no fight
HarryHeth: @BobLee ow I gots shot in hed
BobLee: U lucky they shoot U first
PenDrrr: Big fight still. I fight too k
BobLee: No fight.
WoodNleg: boss Early nr Gburg, big fight, we join?
BobLee: @WoodNleg how close?
WoodNleg: Early b there soon. Can fight?
BobLee: all join fight. Beat yankEZ

WoodNleg: W00T C M run!
WoodNleg: YankEZ R run
WoodNleg: We R winRZ
BobLee: @WoodNleg can u take hill?
BobLee: @WoodNleg take hill k thx
WoodNleg: @NotLate- we can take hill?
NotLate: mmm not sure. I C yankEZ
WoodNleg: how many?
NotLate: mebbe like 50. too many I R tired
NotLate: we attack 2mrw.
WoodNLeg: k thx

Longstrt: whatd i miss?
BobLee: big fight=big win
Longstrt: Woohoo
BobLee: bigger fight=bigger win tmrw
Longstrt: Woohoo
Longstrt: wait, what?
Longstrt: why fight here?
BobLee: We won
Longstrt: YankEZ on high ground. we go around.
BobLee: No go around. Attack.
Longstrt: U crzy. high ground bad. We find own ground.
BobLee: U crzy. Men sad if leave ground. We win here.
Longstrt: Men do wht U wnat. We attack here=we lose here.
BobLee: :banghead:Just bring up men k?
Longstrt: Remember Fredricksburg?
NotLate: blah blah Fredricksburg blah blah defense blah
Longstrt: @NotLate Armistead has a plate for you!

BobLee: @Longstrt see? we win drive yankEZ away
Longstrt: they no go away all on ridge +more coming
BobLee: So we beat them too. if there, I attack there.
Longstrt: if there, they want U attack there
BobLee: srsly dude U need help.
Longstrt: I'm just saying
BobLee: this is MY house!
Longstrt: Not really
BobLee: U kno what I mean. I am the MAN.
Longstrt: Chilax bro
BobLee: :D
Longstrt: srsly tho, how U fight in morning?
BobLee: dunno, but best men scouting now
Longstrt: Stuart back? Didn't kno that...
BobLee: Not Stuart.
Longstrt: cuz U sed best so I guess that wuz Stuart
BobLee: Give it a rest dude
Longstrt: U shud like totes courtmartial his srry @zz
BobLee: :sleep:
Longstrt: fine do wat u want. Picketts here
Longstrt: later boss dude.
BobLee: l8r P33T. C U in morning. Salliesboy1863: PICKETT IN DA HOUSE!
Salliesboy1863: Rollin up w/my boyz from viginia
Lo: There's an R george.
Salliesboy1863: do wut now?
Lo: There's an R in Virginia
Salliesboy1863: wut-evr dude. thats why i hav U.
Lo: um hmm. btw, salliesboy1863= srsly lame srsly Lo, U tell him
Salliesboy1863: riiiiight Jim URs is soooo better I say what is the proper format for one who wishes to have a decent, that is an acceptable means of identifying oneself on these devices?
Salliesboy1863: OMFG!
Lo: dude, R U ever a n00b! WTF? Who brought in this l00zr?
Longstrt: dudes, chillax. he's a bro from the UK aight?
BobLee: anyone seen my cavalry?
Lo: DOOOOOD :roflmao:
Salliesboy1863: man that is epic fail! how do u lose cavalry? srsly?:frantic:where my horse at?  

BobLee: Time 2 get up. Got yankEZ to beat
Longstrt: Ready 2 move 2 right.
BobLee: Don't start. too early.
NotLate: Someone call me?
Lo: Yeah, got a plate with your name on it
NotLate: bite me
Salliesboy1863: we r at back cn sum1 move pse?
Longstrt: U wnat we shud move whl army 4U?
Salliesboy1863: that wud be gr8!
Longstrt: smh
Lo: smh :rofl:
BigTX: Rdy 4 battle, just tell me when
Longstrt: chillax Sam
APHill: uh, rdy i guess. Heth is out.
HenryHeth: no i can fight u put me in i get touchdown
BobLee: Gen Heth u sit this out kthx.
BobLee: Gents we meet 2 discuss plan
AOPCINC: I think we shud retreat
WoodNleg: who wants 2 retreat? APHill?
APHill: wasnt me. it wuz kemper STHU hill it was totes U. sick again?
Longstrt: dudes look at name.
Longstrt: we R here to fight...MEADE
Salliesboy1863: cud u come up w/more lame name?
Lo: U mean liek salliesboy1863?
Salliesboy1863: :mad:
Longstrt: dont start that again.
BobLee: Meade why u on our chan?
*AOPCINC is now known as meade*
meade: u not make private. big laugh last night. much lulz
Salliesboy1863: u not be laughing today j@k@zz
*meade is now known as Reb_smakR*
NotLate: we see who get smakd
Britguy: Having accepted the advice of my good friend Maj. Sorrel
Britguy: I have changed to a more suitable, shortened moniker
Lo: still talk 2 much
Britguy: :redface:
Reb_smakR: it ok britguy, u come hang w/winRZ 2day.
NotLate: he IS w/winRZ
APHill: jerk
Reb_smakR: yeah, what APHill sed
APHill: I talk 2 U.
Britguy: Aren't you all afraid Meade will attack?
Longstrt: no
BigTX: meade+attack? not go 2gether
Reb_smakR: C U l8r l00zrs. have fun climbing hill. we wait.
BobLee: I'm changing this to private.

BobLee: k now on 2 battle. @Longstrt u attack 2 right eclair style
Longstrt: wot eclair style?
BobLee: darn u autocorrect! e-c-h-e-l-o-n style
Longstrt: U sure? eclair is better
Salliesboy1863: I can haz eclair 2?
NotLate: If Longstrt get eclair I get 1
WoodNleg: Not eclair, e chevron
WoodNleg: e hello
WoodNleg: we go in 1 at a tiem.
NotLate: Thought @Longstrt was fight?
BobLee: @Longstrt u attack w/@BigTex on right
BigTex: rox bad. we mebbe go around hill?
APHill: Go around me? Thought Longstrt fight?
BobLee: No, rox is clear best men scout it
Longstrt: Stuart is back?
HenryHeth: I liek stew
Longstrt: Oh, cuz u sed best men
Lo: wut iz "hlep"
BobLee: I h8 u all 

Longstrt: @BigTX, u go attack rox.
BigTex: is dumb. lemme go around right
Longstrt: boss say no, attack rox
BigTex: rox no good. go round, hit rear
Longstrt: boss say no, means no.
BigTex: I file protest.
Longstrt: Rox first, protest l8r aight?
SuperSkowt: @Longstrt, yankEZ see us if we march here
Longstrt: do what now?
SuperSkowt: YankEZ hav tower, see us.
Longstrt: U no see towr earlier??? U scout here??!!
SuperSkowt: um...we scout "a" hill, mebbe not "this" hill
APHill: Do what now?
Longstrt: @APHill go back to sleep
Longstrt: @SuperSkowt wut u scout? where?
SuperSkowt: funny thing- I no find now :frown: 
BigTex: NOW we go right?
Longstrt: Turn around march other way
BigTex: that take all day
Longstrt: U in hurry? got somewhere else 2B?
BobLee: @WoodNleg U and NotLate make demonstration to aid Longstrt
BobLee: @APHill u support Longstrt k
WoodNleg: k men will start make signs. WE H8 YANKEZ ok?
BobLee: Wut? no, not that kind of demonstration
NotLate: peaceful or violent protest? brak windoz?
BobLee: no no no. u make attack but not really
NotLate: Like APHill? LOL
WoodNleg: LOL pwnd!
APHill: F U both!
WoodNleg: corn pwnd!
NotLate: aw, man- u wnet there. bad joke
BobLee: u guys fire guns, make lots of noiz, dont attack
NotLate: it just like APHill attack
WoodNleg: :rofl:
APHill: GTH l00zrs UR just jealous h8rz
BobLee: If Longstrt attack win UR attack for real
NotLate: Longstrt=attack? those words no go 2gthr
WoodNleg: LOL
HarryHeth: my boots r on my feet
BobLee: @HarryHeth go back 2 bed
BobLee: @WoodNleg b rdy 2 attk
BobLee: @APHill support Longstrt
APHill: Go @Longstrt go! 

:O o: Longstrt: well THAT didn't work
BigTX: tolld uw e shu go too riiiiii
Longstrt: let docs work we talk l8r
Longstrt: @APHill thx 4 help!
APHill: I support U. U no hear my cheer?
Longstrt: jerk
Longstrt: @BobLee didnt take rox BigTX down many caz bad day
BobLee: it was close
Longstrt: not THAT close
BobLee: I cud see flags going ovr hill
Longstrt: shud be flag ovr @APHill
Longstrt: Flags goin ovr hill carried by yankEZ
BobLee: attks not coord.
Longstrt: there's a news flash :banghead: 
Longstrt: @WoodNleg did u even TRY to draw yankEZ?
NotLate: draw yankEZ? is art class now? LOL
WoodNleg: we demonstrated. NotLate showed how 2 make biscuits
WoodNleg: yankEZ impressed
WoodNleg: they say so. sed "wait here we go get other yankEZ 2 show"
WoodNleg: oh :redface: 
Longstrt: u suk
BobLee: SMH :O o: 
BobLee: glad u cud make it
Longstrt: hey gr8 can u find out where yankEZ R? before we fight? oh wait... 
caval33r: dudes wot w/all the h8? umadbros?
APHill: yes
WoodNleg: yes
Lo: heck yeah
Longstrt: ur ride=epic fail. u r l00zr
caval33r: wut evs. yall just h8n cuz im so awsum
BobLee: @caval33r can i talk to you a minute?
Lo: busted!  

caval33r: @BobLee u wntd 2 C me boss?
BobLee: there R sum Os who feel u let us dwn
BobLee: that I shud monkeystomp u into da grnd
caval33r: WTH? I go away for a cpl 3 days and playah8rz take ovr?
BobLee: not playah8rz. u spozd keep us updated on yankEZ
BobLee: u not do this. YankEZ here. How yankEZ here Jebster?
caval33r: must've slipped by
BobLee: the entire AoP? slipped by? they cudnt slip by if they were in timbukfrikkin2!
BobLee: it's the AoP. They got surprised by that possum. Rmmbr? and u missed them.
caval33r: but i gots tons o loot. besides, when AOP kno I'm here they run.
BobLee: :O o:
caval33r: no it tru i swar. richmond times sez "when stuart arrives yanks will run"
BobLee: srsly dude u need to stop reading papers.
caval33r: paprz R awsum. they kno the score. I R the best evah.
BobLee: see, that's the prob. U think u so great
caval33r: I AM GR8
BobLee: :thumbsdown:
BobLee: remembr that time the papers sed u cud fly liek u on pegasus?
caval33r: good tiems :smile:
BobLee: no, remember u thot u really cud and made ur men gallop over cliff?
caval33r: :redface:
BobLee: like 50 dudes ended up in hospital
caval33r: they lacked faith.
BobLee: :eek:
BobLee: WTH dude?! OK- U stay wher I can C U from now on, k? gr8. 
Longstrt: hey boss
BobLee: waddup P33T?
Longstrt: nada mucho. wat plan 4 tmrw?
BobLee: hey diddle diddle st8 up da middle
Longstrt: :O o:
BobLee: wut?
Longstrt: after 2day, another attack, in middle??
BobLee: 2day not so bad. Ask anyone.
APHill: 2day not bad at all.
Longstrt: U didn't do anything!
APHill: Not tru! I "support" you. u no liek support?
Longstrt: Support=fight. u sit on @zz
APHill: Fight=fight. Support=b rdy 2 fight. i rdy.
Longstrt: U always rdy, never fight.
APHill: That BS! Remembr "AP Hill came up"?? famous
Longstrt: famous cuz u paid off reporter.
Longstrt: wut about other battles? U no come up.
Longstrt: u no do anything.
NotLate: Not tru- he very good at hold down cot :D
WoodNleg: tru! APHill have magic cot. Liek magic carpet but cot.
WoodNleg: fly off 2 yankEZ if not held down.
APHill: GTH jerks. i fight plenty!
Salliesboy1863: tru, P33T transfr him cuz always fight
APHill: I h8 u all  

Longstrt: @BobLee srsly boss, strayt ahead?
BobLee: yup
Longstrt: wth for? we try both side and no work, why middle?
BobLee: because we try both side and they no work, duh
Longstrt: ???
BobLee: I swear P33T u dense as 2 short planks. ok it EZ
BobLee: We try left side, no work
BobLee: We try right side, no work
BobLee: Only side left is middle, that must be right one.
Longstrt: SMH
BobLee: wut now?
Longstrt: do you have any proof that the middle must be rt 1?
BobLee: U play shell game? if pea not under left and not under right where pea?
Longstrt: this not shell game!
BobLee: yeah but principal is same...
Longstrt: no it not! YankEZ w8 4 us in middle.
BobLee: no no dey move 2 sides to block us, middle open.
Longstrt: and when we move 2 middle, so do they
BobLee: meh, @WoodNleg will faint.
Longstrt: probably, but how that help?
BobLee: Ugh! autocorrect. F-E-I-N-T
Longstrt: faint more likely.
BobLee: go to bed P33T. we talk more tmrw kbye. 

BobLee: ok evy1 up an at em. 3rd day we win.
Lo: he sed that on 2nd day. and 1st day
Salliesboy1863: and Chancellorsville
Lo: we won at Chancellorsville George.
Salliesboy1863: We did? alright yay us
APHill: why we fight so early?
NotLate: u wanna fight? I clobber u Hill!
APHill: chillax NotLate, not talkin 2u
APHill: but I cud take u any day any time
WoodNleg: as long as it not 2 early
Longstrt: epic!
Lo: booyah!
APHill: bite me all y'all
BobLee: ok, @Longstrt we plan now
BobLee: I send all ur troops up middle
BobLee: big charge, yankEZ run
BobLee: caval33r swoop on them, run them 2 DC
BobLee: told him to bring me chair
Longstrt: uh huh. U C cavalry on my flank? I give u all troop, they chase US
BobLee: yes, u give all troop, they chase US.
Longstrt: no, I give u all troop, yankEZ flank my troops
BobLee: so what problem? u give me all troop, u have no troop 2 flank.
Longstrt: SMH u been talk to caval33r again?
BobLee: Longstrt u just grouchy. this piece of pie
HarryHeth: I can haz pie?
APHill: yeah, where pie at?
NotLate: if Longstrt get pie I get pie.
Lo: until then, shut piehole LOL
Salliesboy1863: LOL
Britguy: oh most humourous, most. I am literally laughing out loud
Lo: SMH :nah disagree:
Salliesboy1863: Arthur, that wut LOL mean
Britguy: oh.
BobLee: @Longstrt I give u APHill troop
NotLate: yeah, they not been used
WoodNleg: duuuude!
APHill: :stomp: 
BobLee: Ok here plan:
BobLee: Longstrt attk w @Salliesboy1863 div
BobLee: Plus @ProfP from @APHill corps
BobLee: Need 1 mor gen fm APHill
BobLee: @Longstrt who u think wud b gud?
Longstrt: how the h311 wud I kno abt Hill corp? ask him
BobLee: No can find. bark 4 shark prob.
Longstrt: technicolor yawn
NotLate: prayn 2 porcelin pot
Britguy: ??
Salliesboy1863: hurlin yakkin
Lo: barfing
Britguy: oh, I see- attending a performance at the vomitorium!
Lo: dude, u jus dont get txting do u?  

BobLee: @Longstrt I giv u tremble
Longstrt: uh, do wut now? not sure bout dat
BobLee: frakkin autocorrect.
BobLee: T-R-I-M-B-L-E
Longstrt: it change his name but keep frakkin?
Longstrt: u kno u can turn off autocorrect
BobLee: focus P33T. u liek him?
Longstrt: dont kno him too well. he ok person.
Longstrt: oh. yeah i guess he okay
BobLee: dude it str8 up middle he no hav 2 b genius
BobLee: if Salliesboy1863 can do it he can
Longstrt: d'oh!
BobLee: plan so simple @FightinJoe_AOP.US cud do it
Longstrt: LOL :rofl:
BobLee: jus walk str8 ahead to yankEZ. shoot them.
Longstrt: 2 many steps 4 FightinJoe
BobLee: :D
BobLee: I shoot all cannon. big boom. yankEZ run
Longstrt: boss, i b LT, CPT, Gen, soldier long tiem
Longstrt: tell u now no soldiers can take hill
APHill: u call me? busy now
BobLee: no @APHill
BobLee: not even spartans?
Longstrt: mebbe spartans
BobLee: it all gud bro. u can do it.
BobLee: besides many guns shoot, yankEZ duck
Longstrt: u sure?
BobLee: trust me :giggle:
Longstrt: if we can take hill
APHill: do wut now? who take me where? I sick
BobLee: @APHill turn fone off i find u when need 2
BobLee: @Longstrt u can and u will
Longstrt: booyah!
 Longstrt: @Salliesboy1863, @Lo,, @rubyrichard ok boyz here plan
Longstrt: btw how u doing Dick?
Salliesboy1863: who u talking 2?
Longstrt: SMH. Garnett. Richard=Dick.
Lo: George here dat all the tiem, think it him LOL
rubyrichard: fine, thx 4 aksing
Longstrt: we charge str8 up hill. guide on @ProfP and @Mr.T
Lo: I pity the fool. :bounce:
rubyrichard: :D
Salliesboy1863: :rofl:
Longstrt: haha ok any question?
Salliesboy1863: nope EZ plan
Lo: even George can follow dis plan :D
rubyrichard: :D
Salliesboy1863: :rofl:
Longstrt: @ProfP, @Mr.T any questions?
ProfP: No sir. been at book signing event. sales are poor here. u wnat book?
Longstrt: l8r. u kno what 2 do?
ProfP: yessir.
Longstrt: Mr.T?
Mr.T: I love it when a plan comes together.
Longstrt::O o:
 Longstrt: @Gunguy u rdy Alexander?
Gunguy: yessir wut plan?
Longstrt: u take out yankE btys, then move fwd to cover troops
Gunguy: um
Longstrt: wut prob?
Gunguy: yankEZ have more guns than us. more rounds 2
Longstrt: yeah. shoot careful
Gunguy: :O o:
Longstrt: @Salliesboy1863, @ProfP, @Mr.T form up dudes
Longstrt: @Gunguy fire when u hear signal
Gunguy: firing now
Longstrt: lemme kno when yankEZ beat then we go k?
Gunguy: not sure I kno dat
Gunguy: almost out of rounds
Longstrt: get more
Gunguy: um. no kno where find more
Longstreet: :O o:
Gunguy: supplies moved not kno where
Longstrt: :banghead:
Longstrt: ok lemme kno when u think it ok 2 go. or not.
Gunguy: no way 2 tell. too much smoke.
Salliesboy1863: we go now?
Salliesboy1863: huh?
Salliesboy1863: now?
Longstrt: :unsure:yeah
Salliesboy1863: w00h00
Salliesboy1863: ok up dudes 2 posts
Salliesboy1863: dont forget u fm viginia SMH
Lo: George? the R?
Salliesboy1863: bite me. lets march.
Lo: @rubyrichard Dick why u ride?
rubyrichard: my leg hurts
Lo: Jim why U ride? 2 help Dick
Lo: how dat work? yankEZ try 2 shoot Dick, think I him shoot at me
Lo: um, so U get shot no, they want shoot Dick not me.
Lo: WTH? that makes NO sense!
rubyrichard: and this charge does? LOL 
ProfP: yankEZ fighting? WTH?
Mr.T: mebbe we attack our guys? @WoodNleg where R U?
WoodNleg: got own probs. YankEZ attk me 2. Where DAT come fm?
NotLate: YankEZ=attk not go together. who this?
WoodNleg: mebbe France? liek in french/indian war?
NotLate: yeah, must be french. where yankEZ?
Salliesboy1863: @Longstrt can u ck 2 make sure we in rt place?
Salliesboy1863: we think mebbe attk france. didnt ocean used to be here?
Longstrt: u in rt place. yankEZ fight. u fight better.
Mr.T: ouch
Lo: WTF who put fence here? Stoopid place 4 fence
ProfP: ow
Lo: @rubyrichard where u at Dick?
Lo: Dick? ow
Lo: u ok jim? i feel fine. I dont want to go on the cart.
Lo: almost to top- WTH another wall? charge boyz we almost there.
Lo: ouch.
Salliesboy1863: u guys ok? wat happen? guys coming back.
Longstrt: dis not work
BobLee: @Salliesboy1863 where ur division?
Salliesboy1863: no got division. WTH u think happen 2 them?
Salliesboy1863: think yankEZ have somthin do w it
Britguy: I say, glorious win
Longstrt: dont make me hit u
Caval33r: @BobLee WTH some dude dressed fancier than me!
Caval33r: dis not working. YankEZ not run.
Caval33r: goofy lookin dude keep yellin "WOLVERINES!"
BobLee: @Longstrt ok, this not such good plan. we go back VA k?
Longstrt: best idea u had yet 

No comments:

Post a Comment